HAKUNA MATATA....:)

Chapter 9 Power in Interpersonal Communication

2009-03-11T22:15:00.000-07:00

How can we define power? Power is known to be a measure of a person's ability to control the environment around them, including the behavior of other people. The term authority is often used for power, perceived as legitimate by the social structure. Power can also be seen as evil or unjust. However, the exercise of power is accepted as endemic to humans as social beings.

In today's class, we discussed the importance of power in interpersonal relationships, emphasizing the nature of power and its principles, its types, and the ways to communicate power.

Principles of Power

What is power? What principles govern the operation of power in interpersonal relationships?

-Some people are more powerful than others; some are born to power, others learn it.
-Some people are more Machiavellian than others; people differ in their beliefs about the extent

to which people can be controlled by others.
-Power can be increased or decreased; power is never static.
-Power follows the principle of less interest; generally, the less interest, the greater the power.
-Power has a cultural dimension; power is distributed differently in different cultures.
-Power is often used unfairly, as in sexual harassment and power plays.

Types of Power

What types of power can one person have over another?

Referent power

: The influence that comes from members' liking and respect for one another.

Legitimate Power

: The influence that comes from the authority of your rate and position in the chain of command.

Expert Power

: Ability to influence someone regarding a course of action because of a specific knowledge, experience or expertise.

Information or persuasion Power

: Having the ability to change people's attitudes largely through the skillful use of language.

Reward Power

: Compliance achieved based on the ability to distribute rewards that others view as valuable.

Coercive Power

: Authority or power that is dependent on fear, suppression of free will, or use of punishment or threat, for its existence.

Communicating Power

How can you communicate power?

->Speaking power includes, for example, avoiding hesitations, disqualifiers, and self-critical

statements.

->Nonverbal power includes avoiding adaptors, using consistent packaging, and avoiding

excessive movements.

->Listening power includes responding visibly, maintaining eye contact and an open posture, and

avoiding interrupting.

->Compliance-gaining and compliance-resisting tactics enable you to influence others to do as

you want or enable you to resist compliance attempts of others. Compliance-gaining tactics

include expressing liking, making promises, and threatening. Compliance-resisting tactics

include using identity management and negotiation.

->Empowering others enables them to gain power and control over themselves and over the

environment. Empowering others has numerous advantages, for example, empowered people

are more proactive and more responsible. Empowering others involves such strategies as

being positive, avoiding verbal aggressiveness and abusiveness, and encouraging growth, and

especially helpful and most often greatly appreciated in cases of shyness or high

communication apprehension.

Relationship Conflict: Healthy or Unhealthy

2009-03-11T21:40:00.000-07:00

There is no such thing as a relationship without conflict.

Conflict is a part of life. It exists as a reality of any relationship, and is not necessarily bad. In fact a relationship with no apparent conflict may be unhealthier than one with frequent conflict. Conflicts are critical events that can weaken or strengthen a relationship. Conflicts can be productive, creating deeper understanding, closeness and respect, or they can be destructive, causing resentment, hostility and divorce. How the conflicts get resolved, not how many occur, is the critical factor in determining whether a relationship will be healthy or unhealthy, mutually satisfying or unsatisfying, friendly or unfriendly, deep or shallow, intimate or cold. Conflicts run all the way from minor unimportant differences to critical fights. There are conflicts of needs, wants, preferences, interests, opinions, beliefs and values.

Styles of Conflict Resolution:

	Avoiding or denying the existence of a conflict.
	Many people prefer to give in rather than struggle through the conflict.
	Some people get mad and blame the other person.
	Others are competitive and have to win. They use their power and influence to control and get their way.
	Some appear to compromise but are subtly manipulative in trying to win more ground.
	A few people can control their anger, competitive, I-give-up feelings and self- serving tendencies and genuinely seek a fair, optimal solution for both parties. This is a creative integrative approach.

Three Types of Healthy Solutions:

	Win-win. Most conflicts are in areas that have more than two alternatives. If you do not like the choice your partner wants, and your partner does not like your choice, with a little more effort you might be able to find another alternative that you both like and want.
	No lose. When you cannot find an alternative that you both want, look for an option that is acceptable to both of you, or negotiate an agreeable compromise. Neither gets everything he/she wanted, but each gets enough to be satisfied.
	Win-lose equally. When the conflict is over an issue that has *only* two choices, one person will get what he/she wants and the other will not. There will be a winner and a loser. If you are fair with each other and generally half the time each gets your own way; it will be easier for each of you when you don’t. The loser will trust that next time or the time after that he/she will be the winner.

Healthy Conflict Resolution is easy to understand intellectually, but not as easy to apply and use consistently. It does however become easier once the skills and trust are developed. Both partners must view their conflicts as a problem to be solved by them. It isn’t getting the best deal for me; it is finding the best solution for us. They each must actively participate and make the effort and commitment to work hard together to find solutions that are fair and acceptable to both.

If you disregard, minimize or invalidate your spouse’s position, or if you must always get your way, you will damage your relationship. Your lack of sensitivity, consideration and respect of your spouse’s position will cause hurt and smoldering resentment. If fear and power is used to win, the relationship will be mortally wounded.

If you are just a willing giver constantly trying to keep your spouse happy by satisfying his/her needs and avoiding conflict, you will also damage your relationship. You will inadvertently teach your spouse to be insensitive to your needs and self-serving at your expense. Your self-esteem and self-worth will deteriorate. Resentment will fester, poisoning you to the relationship.

Attitudes Needed for Healthy Conflict Resolution:

Start with the right frame of mind. Approach the conflict as two equals working together to solve a problem. Don’t be so caught-up with your immediate want that you lose sight of and forget your more important want of having a long, healthy relationship. If you are too angry or hurt to be able to control your feelings and remain respectful let yourself calm down before dealing with the issue.

Handling a conflict with a loved one, or someone you want to have a good, long-term relationship with is different than negotiating with someone who doesn’t care about your needs, such as a used-car salesman. With a loved one you have to be concerned with his/her best interests. You both should be open, honest and remain respectful, not deceptive, manipulative or disrespectful. Mutual trust is a necessary core issue in a healthy, long-term relationship and neither partner should do anything to weaken it.

Having a negative, distrustful attitude is detrimental to this process: believing you must win the argument or otherwise lose face is a bad attitude; feeling superior or being hard nosed and feeling inferior or being a soft touch are also harmful approaches.

Stages of Healthy Conflict Resolution:

-Identify the problem or issues.

-Generate several possible solutions.

-Evaluate the alternative solutions.

-Decide on the best solution.

-Implement the solution.

-Follow-up evaluation.

Common Mistakes:

	Not discussing with your partner the method used to resolve your conflicts.
	Discovering too late that more information was needed, e.g., "I should have placed the order sooner, now they are sold out."
	Being too invested in getting your way, or making extreme demands, and therefore not being able to be flexible enough to be fair with your partner.
	Forgetting that there are usually several ways of doing things and that your own reality is not the only reality. We humans have a consistent tendency to believe that we are right and are being reasonable. You will be much more effective if you are willing to see the other person’s view.
	Focusing too much on what you could lose and not enough on what you both could gain.
	Believing the other person must lose for you to win.
	Bringing in additional issues before resolving the one you started..

If you both stay true to your partner and true to yourself you should have a good, healthy relationship.

Online Conflict

2009-03-11T20:41:00.000-07:00

Diverse opinions are critical to constructive dialog. Diversity enriches a group. But there is a line between constructive critical thinking and behavior which demeans individuals and potentially destroys communities. It is a fine line with no obvious answer for a facilitator. The goal of this piece is to think about how to support diverse and divergent thinking while reducing the likelihood of personal conflict and group destruction. And this conflict often arises due to misunderstanding. So it is about conflict beteen people, not between ideas. This is an important distinction!

Before we discuss how to avoid online conflict, there are five key attributes of online communication to take into consideration:

Lack of physical communication cues - We cannot see or hear the huge range of non-verbal cues we use during the course of conversation to discern if our audience is understanding, agreeing, disagreeing, getting uncomfortable or opening up. In cyberspace, we must explicitly ask for this information.

Potential impersonality of the medium (distance) - Sometimes, when communicating online people may lose some of their inhibitions and say things they would not say offline. Social norms are less clear and more open to individual interpretation. Setting norms that we agree to use together can control this loss of inhibition.

Asynchronicity affects the way we experience and feel about messages - When you have time to think about your response, you may be more thoughtful or you may let issues build up and get blown out of proportion. In online interactions, each of us may interpret periods of silence very differently. These subtle, unspoken issues can cloud communication.

Public vs. private spaces and perceptions - People have different tolerances of what they think should be "public" or "private." These differences need to be taken into account when choosing to deal with issues in public and/or private spaces.

Limitations of writing and reading - We are not all poets and most of us lead busy lives. Our inattention to detail in writing and our speed reading through topics can lead to misinterpretations. Be thorough. Be explicit.

Four Tips to Avoid Online Misunderstandings

1) Making "I" statements, not "You" statements
'I' statements are used when we feel strongly about something and we want the other person to be aware of how we feel. Use these statements instead of telling the other person what you would like them to do or not do. "I would be more comfortable if you first stated your personal goals about the plan." vs. "You didn't state your agenda and confused the rest of us."

'I' statements present our case without causing defensiveness in the other person. The effective 'I' statement includes three parts. 'When I see/hear (behavior), I feel (feeling). What I would really like is (what is wanted)".

Example: 'When I see that my posts are not being acknowledged, I feel ignored. What I would really like is to have feedback on my input'.

2) Checking assumptions
Assumptions are our interpretations of what we hear or read. They are the result of our trying to fill in information that is missing. Assumptions are almost always present. They are based on our own personal attitudes and beliefs. Checking assumptions is very important. Ask. 'In reading your statement, I am assuming that... Is that so?''

3) Actively "listening"/Reading
Building rapport with another depends on the quality of our attention during the act of communicating. Remember that the writer cannot see us nodding our heads or hear us saying "umm... hmmm."

Communication occurs at different levels. For messages to be accurately received every level needs to be acknowledged and understood.

Information
As a speaker or writer, be as informative as possible. Provide background and details. As a listener or reader, ask open questions that help the other expand on the subject. Ask specific questions to get more details. Reflect back what you heard to check for accuracy.

Feelings
Feelings are an integral part of our being. In some cultures, expression of feelings is discouraged, especially negative feelings. It is easier in face-to-face situations to listen to and pick up feelings. Visual clues and voice tones tend to give away signs that may be more easily suppressed when communicating in writing. As a speaker, or writer, make sure to express your feelings when you sense that they are 'nudging' you, using the 'I' statements.

As a listener, or reader, make sure to acknowledge those feelings when they are expressed. If feelings are not openly expressed but you sense something may be present, check it out, remembering that this is an assumption on your part. 'I am sensing that you may be feeling upset. Is that so?' This may give you more information, but remember some people may not admit to negative feelings even if you ask.

4) Acknowledging perspectives
People's perceptions of reality can be very different and individualistic. We need to recognize that the other person believes as strongly was we do about the history of the events even when our views of what may have happened are quite different. These different personal perspectives are equally valid. We need to start by respecting the other person's perspective, discuss our views and come to a useful agreement.

When describing an event, say "From my perspective ..." This describes what was real for you without devaluing someone else's point of view. Everyone can contribute from his/her own perspective, adding to the richness of the interaction.

Conflicts Happen
Conflicts are great opportunities for learning and growth. The stronger the emotion, the tighter the impasse, the larger the opportunity for learning about ourselves. Questions to ask yourself: what causes me to have strong reactions (usually hurt or anger)? When / where and with whom does it frequently happen?

For resolution to occur there needs to be a sincere desire by both parties to reach a win-win solution, without needing to prove right or wrong. This is the time to drop judgment, blame and defensiveness and open up the possibility of being creative, of finding new ways to respond, instead of reacting. This is the time to be adventurous, inquisitive, curious, playful, and courageous.

Chapter 8 Conflict in Interpersonal Relationship

2009-03-11T01:13:00.000-07:00

Conflict Management

Clarifying Confusion About Conflict

Conflict is when two or more values, perspectives and opinions are contradictory in nature and haven't been aligned or agreed about yet, including:
1. Within yourself when you're not living according to your values;
2. When your values and perspectives are threatened; or
3. Discomfort from fear of the unknown or from lack of fulfillment.
Conflict is inevitable and often good, for example, good teams always go through a "form, storm, norm and perform" period. Getting the most out of diversity means often-contradictory values, perspectives and opinions.

Conflict is often needed. It:
1. Helps to raise and address problems.
2. Energizes work to be on the most appropriate issues.
3. Helps people "be real", for example, it motivates them to participate.
4. Helps people learn how to recognize and benefit from their differences.
Conflict is not the same as discomfort. The conflict isn't the problem - it is when conflict is poorly managed that is the problem.

Conflict is a problem when it:
1. Hampers productivity.
2. Lowers morale.
3. Causes more and continued conflicts.
4. Causes inappropriate behaviors.

Types of Managerial Actions that Cause Workplace Conflicts

1. Poor communications
a. Employees experience continuing surprises, they aren't informed of new
decisions, programs, etc.
b. Employees don't understand reasons for decisions, they aren't involved in
decision-making.
c. As a result, employees trust the "rumor mill" more than management.

2. The alignment or the amount of resources is insufficient. There is:
a. Disagreement about "who does what".
b. Stress from working with inadequate resources.

3. "Personal chemistry", including conflicting values or actions among managers and employees, for example:
a. Strong personal natures don't match.
b. We often don't like in others what we don't like in ourselves.

4. Leadership problems, including inconsistent, missing, too-strong or uninformed leadership (at any level in the organization), evidenced by:
a. Avoiding conflict, "passing the buck" with little follow-through on decisions.
b. Employees see the same continued issues in the workplace.
c. Supervisors don't understand the jobs of their subordinates.

Key Managerial Actions / Structures to Minimize Conflicts

1. Regularly review job descriptions. Get your employee's input to them. Write down and date job descriptions. Ensure:
a. Job roles don't conflict.
b. No tasks "fall in a crack".

2. Intentionally build relationships with all subordinates.
a. Meet at least once a month alone with them in office.
b. Ask about accomplishments, challenges and issues.

3. Get regular, written status reports and include:
a. Accomplishments.
b. Currents issues and needs from management.
c. Plans for the upcoming period.

4. Conduct basic training about:
a. Interpersonal communications.
b. Conflict management.
c. Delegation.

5. Develop procedures for routine tasks and include the employees' input.
a. Have employees write procedures when possible and appropriate.
b. Get employees' review of the procedures.
c. Distribute the procedures.
d. Train employees about the procedures.

6. Regularly hold management meetings, for example, every month, to communicate new initiatives and status of current programs.

7. Consider an anonymous suggestion box in which employees can provide suggestions.

Ways People Deal With Conflict (Conflict Styles)

There is no one best way to deal with conflict. It depends on the current situation. Here are the major ways that people use to deal with conflict.
1. Avoid it. Pretend it is not there or ignore it.
a. Use it when it simply is not worth the effort to argue. Usually this approach tends
to worsen the conflict over time.

2. Accommodate it. Give in to others, sometimes to the extent that you compromise yourself.
a. Use this approach very sparingly and infrequently, for example, in situations
when you know that you will have another more useful approach in the very
near future. Usually this approach tends to worsen the conflict over time, and
causes conflicts within yourself.

3. Competing. Work to get your way, rather than clarifying and addressing the issue. Competitors love accommodators.
a. Use when you have a very strong conviction about your position.

4. Compromising. Mutual give-and-take.
a. Use when the goal is to get past the issue and move on.

5. Collaborating. Focus on working together.
a. Use when the goal is to meet as many current needs as possible by using mutual
resources. This approach sometimes raises new mutual needs.
b. Use when the goal is to cultivate ownership and commitment.

To Manage a Conflict Within Yourself - "Core Process"

It's often in the trying that we find solace, not in getting the best solution. The following steps will help you in this regard.
1. Name the conflict, or identify the issue, including what you want that you aren't getting. Consider:
a. Writing your thoughts down to come to a conclusion.
b. Talk to someone, including asking them to help you summarize the conflict in 5
sentences or less.

2. Get perspective by discussing the issue with your friend or by putting it down in writing. Consider:
a. How important is this issue?
b. Does the issue seem worse because you're tired, angry at something else, etc.?
c. What's your role in this issue?

3. Pick at least one thing you can do about the conflict.
a. Identify at least three courses of action.
b. For each course, write at least three pros and cons.
c. Select an action - if there is no clear course of action, pick the alternative that
will not hurt, or be least hurtful, to yourself and others.
d. Briefly discuss that course of action with a friend.

4. Then do something.
a. Wait at least a day before you do anything about the conflict. This gives you
a cooling off period.
b. Then take an action.
c. Have in your own mind, a date when you will act again if you see no clear
improvement.

To Manage a Conflict With Another - "Core Process"

1. Know what you don't like about yourself, early on in your career. We often don't like in others what we don't want to see in ourselves.
a. Write down 5 traits that really bug you when see them in others.
b. Be aware that these traits are your "hot buttons".

2. Manage yourself. If you and/or the other person are getting heated up, then manage yourself to stay calm by
a. Speaking to the person as if the other person is not heated up - this can be very
effective!
b. Avoid use of the word "you" - this avoids blaming.
c. Nod your head to assure them you heard them.
d. Maintain eye contact with them.

3. Move the discussion to a private area, if possible.

4. Give the other person time to vent.
a. Don't interrupt them or judge what they are saying.

5. Verify that you're accurately hearing each other. When they are done speaking:}
a. Ask the other person to let you rephrase (uninterrupted) what you are hearing from
them to ensure you are hearing them.
b. To understand them more, ask open-ended questions. Avoid "why" questions -
those questions often make people feel defensive.

6. Repeat the above step, this time for them to verify that they are hearing you. When you present your position
a. Use "I", not "you".
b. Talk in terms of the present as much as possible.
c. Mention your feelings.

7. Acknowledge where you disagree and where you agree.

8. Work the issue, not the person. When they are convinced that you understand them:
a. Ask "What can we do fix the problem?" They will likely begin to complain again.
Then ask the same question. Focus on actions they can do, too.

9. If possible, identify at least one action that can be done by one or both of you.
a. Ask the other person if they will support the action.
b. If they will not, then ask for a "cooling off period".

10. Thank the person for working with you.

11. If the situation remains a conflict, then:
a. Conclude if the other person's behavior conflicts with policies and procedures in
the workplace and if so, present the issue to your supervisor.
b. Consider whether to agree to disagree.
c. Consider seeking a third party to mediate.

Chapter 7 Interpersonal Relationship: Love

2009-03-10T23:35:00.000-07:00

Love Types
Eros: Beauty and Sexuality

Like Narcissus, who fell in love with the beauty of his own image, the erotic lover focuses on beauty and physical attractiveness, sometimes to the exclusion of qualities you might consider more important and more lasting.

Ludus: Entertainment and Excitement
Ludus love is experienced as a game, a fun. The better you can play the game, the greater the enjoyment. A ludic lover is self- controlled, always aware of the need to manage love rather than allow it to be control. Perhaps because of this need to control love, some researches have proposed that ludic love tendencies may reveal tendencies to sexual aggression. Perhaps because love is a game, sexual fidelity is of little importance. And not surprisingly, ludic lovers score high on narcissism.

Storge: Peaceful and slow

Storge love (a word that come from Greek for "familial love") lacks passion and intensity. Storgic lovers don't set out to find lovers but to establish a companionable relationship with someone they know and with whom they can share interests and activities. Storgic love is a gradual process of unfolding thoughts and feelings; the changes seem to come so slowly and so gradually that it's often difficult to define exactly where the relationship is at any point in time. Sex in storgic relationships come late, and when it comes, it assumes no great importance.

Pragma: Practical and traditional

Pragma lovers want compatibility and a relationship in which their important needs and desires will be satisfied. The pragma lover views love as a useful relationship that makes the rest of life easier. So the pragma lover asks such questions: "Will this person earn a good living?" "Can this person cook?" "Will this person help me advance in my career?"

Mania: Elation and depression

Mania is characterized by extreme highs and extreme lows. The manic lover intensely worried about the loss of the love. With little provocation, the manic lover may experience extreme jealousy. Manic love is obsessive, the manic lover must possess the beloved completely. In turn, the manic lover wishes to be possessed, to be love intensely. The manic lover's poor self- images seems capable of being improved only by love; self- worth comes from being loved rather than from any sense of the inner satisfaction. Because love is so important, dangers sign in a relationship are often ignored; the manic lover believes that if there is love, then nothing else matters.

Agape: Compassionate and selfless

Agape is a compassionate, ego less, self- giving love. The agapic lovers love even people with whom he or she has no close ties. This lover loves the stranger on the road even though the two of them probably will never meet again. Agape is a spiritual love, offered without expecting that the love will be reciprocated. Jesus, Buddha and Gandhi preached this unqualified love, agape.

General point of view of love from Renaldo

I believe that there not just one type of love in us but all. It just depends on which is diminating. For example, a mother can have an agape love towards her children but with her husband, certain activities that a married couple do come's from eros. Also, that mother might have choosen to settle down with her husband could also be based on Pragma love. So we cannot say that, ' i have no ludus love in me or mania love.' Because in truth, we do.

Continuation on Growth of Interpersonal Communication

2009-03-10T19:44:00.000-07:00

Rules for Maintaining Relationships

Friendship Rules

* Stand up for friend in his or her absence

* Share information and feelings about successes

* Demonstrate emotional support

* Trust each other; confide in each other

* Often to help your friend in time of need

* Try to make your friends happy when the two of you are together

* Don't criticize in public

* Keep confidences

* Don't be jealous or negative about other relationships

* Respect your friend's privacy

When this rules are followed are followed, the friendship is strong and mutually satisfying. When these rules are broken, interpersonal conflict is likely to occur.

Romantic Rules

Rules that both keep the relatoinship together and when broken, lead to deterioration and eventually to dissolution. If you have had a serious romantic relationship, think about it as you examine the rules that follow; if you have not had such a relationship, think about the relationship you want. As you read the list, consider your own relationship behaviors. Do you and your partner

acknowledge each other's individual identities and lives beyond the relationship?
express similiar attitudes, beliefs, values, and interests?
enhance each other's self- worth and self- esteem?
remain loyal and faithful to each other?
have substantial shared time together?
attempts to make your interactions enjoyable?
listen and try not to judge?
act cheerful and positive?
compliment each other's achievement?
try to avoid embarrassing each other?

Growth of Interpersonal Relationships

2009-03-10T09:27:00.000-07:00

Relationship Maintenance
Relationship maintenance behaviors are behaviors that serve to continue (maintain, retain) your relationship. Of course, maintenance behavior can serve a variety of functions. Some example:
- to keep the relationship intact: to retain the semblance of a relationship, to prevent dissolution of the relationship
- to keep the relationship at its present stages: to prevent it from moving too far toward either less or greater intimacy
- to keep the relationship satisfying: to maintain an appropriate balance between rewards and penalties

Reason for Maintaining Relationship
The reasons for maintaining are as numerous and as varied as the reason for beginning them.

Theoretical Predictions:
Attraction theory holds that relationships are maintained when there is significant attraction, generally of the kind that led to the development of the relationship. Although both individuals, as well as their definitions of what constitutes attractiveness, may have changed, the importance of attraction – however defined- is likely to continue throughout the life of the relationship.

Social exchange theory holds that relationships will be maintained as long as the relationship is profitable- as long as the rewards exceed the costs. Note, of course, that what constitutes a reward and how significant that reward is can be defined only by the individual. More specifically, you’re likely to maintain a relationship when it’s more rewarding than what you expected (your comparison level). You’re also likely to maintain your present relationship even when it falls short of your comparison level, as long as it’s still higher than what you feel you could get elsewhere (your comparison level for alternatives). So even though you may think you deserve more, if you can’t get more, then you’re likely to stay put.

Equity theory holds that you maintain the relationship when you perceive relative equity. If you feel that you’re getting rewards from the relationship proportional to the costs you’re paying, then you’re likely to maintain the relationship.

The more popular and frequently cited reasons for relationship maintenance:

Emotional attachment: Often you maintain a relationship because you love each other, you want to preserve your relationship, and you don’t find alternative couplings as inviting or as potentially enjoyable.

Convenience: The difficult involved in finding another person to live with, another business partner, or another social escort may make it more convenient to stay together than to break up.

Children: A couple may stay together because they feel, rightly or wrongly, that it’s in the best interests of the children; or the children may provide a socially acceptable excuse to mask the real reason- convenience, financial advantage, fear of being alone, and so on.

Fear: People may fear venturing into the outside world, being alone, facing others as “single”, or even making it on one paycheck and so many elect to preserve their current relationship as the better alternative.

Inertia: Some relationships are maintained because of inertia (the tendency for a body at rest to remain at rest and a body in motion to remain in motion); change seems too much trouble.

Commitment: People may have a strong commitment to each other or to the relationship. In fact, recent research finds that women’s commitment is more closely related to relationship maintenance and stability than any other factor.

Stages in Interpersonal Relationship

2009-03-06T23:41:00.000-08:00

"Communication is to a relationship what breathing is to maintaining life"

Stages in Interpersonal Relationships

Contact

Kind of perceptual contact- sense( see. touch, hear , smell)

Form a mental and physical picture- gender, age, height

there is usually interaction contact- superficial and relatively impersonal
Start exchanging basic information that is preliminary to :-

Intense involvement ( "Hello, my name is Tasha")

initiate interaction ("May i join you?")

Invitational communication ("May i buy you a drink?")

At this stage, we decide whether to pursue in the relationship
In face to face interaction, physical appearance is especially important because it is readily seen
Through verbal and non-verbal behaviours, qualities such as friendliness, warmth, openness and dynamism also are revealed.

In contrast, computer mediated contact, attitudinal sameness and wanting essentially the same things may be almost influential in the beginning.

Involvement

A sense of mutuality, of being connected develops
Here we experiment and try to learn more about the other person

At the initial phase of involvement, a kind of testing goes on

You want to seek whether your initial judgement proves reasonable

Questions will be asked:- ( Where do you work, What are you majoring in?)

You might continue your involvement by intensifying your interaction by beginning to reveal yourself, though in a preliminary way

In a dating relationship you might use a variety of strategies to help you move to the next stage and perhaps to intimacy.

For eg: Increase contact with your partner tokens of affection such as gifts, cards or flowers
Increase your own personal attractiveness

Throughout the relationship process, especially during the involvement and early intimacy stages, we test or partner

Try to find how our partner feels about the relationship.

The strategies are :-

Directness-ask partner directly how they feel,

Indirect suggestions-joke bout a a shared future together or touch more intimately

Public presentations- introduce your partner as your boyfriend/ girlfriend

Third party- ask your mutual friends about your partners feelings and intentions

Intimacy

Feelings that we cloud be honest and open when talking about our self our thoughts and feelings that we don't reveal in other relationships.

Commit yourself still further o the other person and establish a relationship
An individual becomes your best or closest friend, lover or companion

All start sharing the same social networks

Relationship satisfaction also increase with the move to this stage
Intimacy as the feelings that you could be honest and open when talking about yourself, your thoughts

The relationship satisfaction also increases with the move to this stage
Intimacy stages divided to two:-
Interpersonal commitment-

two people commit themselves to each other in a private way

Social bonding
commitment is made in public ( family, friends & large public)

We and our partner become a unit, an identifiable pair

When intimacy stage involves a lifetime

Security anxiety- ( Worry that our partner might leave us for someone else)

Fulfillment Anxiety- (We may not be able to achieve a close, warm and special rapport)

Excitement anxiety-( boredom and routine may set in or you'll lose your freedom and become trapped)

Deterioration

Characterized by a weakening of the bonds between the friends and lovers

Intrapersonal dissatisfaction (personal dissatisfaction with everyday interactions, begin to view the future negatively)

If dissatisfaction grows, we pass the second phase, interpersonal deterioration

You withdraw and grow farther apart
Share less of our free time

When we are together, there will be awkward silence, fewer disclosures, less physical contacts and lack of psychological closeness.
relationship begins to deteriorate, the breadth and depth

A process of deterioration, sometimes referred to as the reversal hypothesis. ( In the process of terminating a relationship, you may eliminate certain topics from your interpersonal interactions)

you may also reduce the level of your self disclosure, revealing less and less of your inner feelings

Repair

A stage that is not always pursued.

May pause during deterioration and try to repair the relationship

Intrapersonal repair ( analyze what went wrong and consider the ways of solving you relational difficulties.

At this stage, consider changing your behaviours or perhaps changing your expectations of your partner
To repair your relationship you might discuss this with your partner at the interpersonal relationship phase

Might talk about the problem in the relationship, the changes you wanted to see

Negotiating new agreements and new behaviours

You and your partner might try to repair your relationships yourself

Seek advice from friends, family or counsellor

Dissolution

The stage where the bond between the individuals are broken

Interpersonal separation- go to separate apartments, lead lives apart

Social or public separation- marriage will end up in divorce.

Some former partners change the definition of their relationship:- ex-lovers becomes friends
Ex-partners begin to look up upon themselves as individuals rather than halves of a pair

Try to establish a new and different life, either alone or with another person

Some people continue to live psychologically- Recall all the sweet memory they spent with their partner

A divorce cake

Chapter 6 Universals of Interpersonal Relationship

2009-03-06T19:01:00.000-08:00

Characteristics of Interpersonal Relationships

Relationship may be viewed as a continuum from the impersonal at one end to highly personal (that's interpersonal) at the other end. We can distinguish interpersonal relationships from impersonal relationships on the basis of three main factors:-

# Psychological data

# Explanatory Knowledge

# Personally Established Rules

Psychological Data

In interpersonal relationship, people respond to each other chiefly as members of the class or group to which each belongs.

For eg: Usually prof interacts to you as how he interacts with other students. When your relationship gets closer, you begin to respond to each other not as members of groups but as unique individuals.

In impersonal relationships, the social or cultural roles of the person governs your interaction.

In personal or interpersonal relationships, the psychological uniqueness of the person tells you how to interact.

This progression from social to psychological data happens in US and in most Europeans cultures.

Relationship more than seen

eg: friendship ( Very close friends even after class / work)

Explanatory Knowledge

In impersonal relationship you we can do a little more then describing a person or the person's way of communicating.

A we get to know a person better, we can predict his/ her behaviour.

We'll be able to explain a person's behaviour.

For eg: Ms Cheryl is able to describe our behaviour, such as coming late to class.

Ms Cheryl can go beyond these levels to explain the behaviour such as the reason we are late.

Personally Established Rules

The rules of interaction are set down by social norms

Students and prof behave towards each other in impersonal situations

According to social norms established by their culture and society.

As the relationship between students and professor becomes interpersonal, the social rules no longer regulate the interaction.

They begin to see each other as unique individuals rather than student and prof.

A good way to begin the study of interpersonal relationship is to examine our own relationships ( past, present, or those we look forward to.

The Significance of Facial Expression

2009-03-04T09:21:00.000-08:00

Facial movements alone seem to communicate the degree of pleasantness, agreement and sympathy a person feels; the rest of the body doesn’t provide any additional information.

Sometime people hide certain emotions while some might emphasize their emotions. It is consider good to express yourself in the US community. As for Japanese, they limit their facial movement and make them look expressionless and more diligent. Our eyes contacts and the way our mouths move also have different meaning.

Different culture views each facial expression in different ways. Some might means good to a community and it might view as bad in the other. We cannot judge whether some facial expression is the same around the world.

Since the later generations have fewer face to face communication, how to express oneself thru instant messaging chat or forum and chat group? They uses normal symbols such as :) to express a smile and a :( to express a frown.

The Significance of Silence

2009-03-04T09:19:00.000-08:00

Two aspects of nonverbal communication that are often considered together, because they involve manipulating sound, are paralanguage and silence.

Paralanguage is a vocal but nonverbal dimension of speech. It has to do with the manner which you can say something rather than with what you say. An exercise used to increase a students ability to express different emotions, feelings and attitudes was to have the student say the following sentence while accenting or stressing different words:

1. Is this the face that launched a thousand ships?
2. Is this the face that launched a thousand ships?
3. Is this the face that launched a thousand ships?
4. Is this the face that launched a thousand ships?
5. Is this the face that launched a thousand ships?

The above statements are equal but the stresses on different words give the statement different meanings. This is called Paralanguage.

They way we say it when we are laughing, yelling, moaning, whining and belching will make the statements different. The pitch of highness and lowness also contribute to what we want to make clear of what we want to say.

Silence

Some says it is the ultimate in thinking as in communication is silence. Silence allows the speaker to think beforehand what the want to express.

Silence is nothing negative; it is not the mere absent of speech. It’s a positive, a complete world in itself.

During class as US culture, we are silent, the lecturer might think that the students are not paying attention to the class; therefore they want the class to be alive by having debate over the topic.

But in the East, silence in class does not mean the listeners are not paying attention. They are giving respect to the speaker. So, silence in the west is negative while silence in the east is seen as positive.

Social Clock

2009-03-04T06:21:00.000-08:00

Social clock is :

Things that you are suppose to do at certain age

For eg: A 40 year old guy is attending our interpersonal communication class for a

degree ( What do u feel about that..Isn't that a little weird???)

We feel its out of time.

We should finish doing certain things at a certain age.

Culture

Culture :- In certain culture youths should get married after they finish their SPM. ( But for us we feel its to young for a marriage life)

People in the culture finds it weird if you don't get married between the age of 18-20

Doing things at certain age such as marriage, education, getting a baby and etc...

Family

Some family have their own way of bringing up their children

It might effect the social clock of the children

For eg:

My grandfather don't allow any of his children and his grandchildren to ride motor. When we see all our friends riding motor we'd like to ride as well but we cant do it because we are restrict. When we are with our friends, we might feel out of step because we feel left out when we cannot do what people our age are doing.

General

Children in US :-

Get pregnant before they get married.

Leave their home at a very young age.

Stay in the same house with their partner before getting married

Compared to the situation in our country people caught doing these things will be looked down and not respected in the society.
Hence, in each country we have our own social clock.

As time goes on, the social clock will be changing.

The Theory of the Social Clock

2009-03-03T23:55:00.000-08:00

Your culture maintains a social clock- a time schedule for the right time to do various important things, such as starting dating, finishing college, buying your own home, or having a child. The social clock tells you if you're keeping pace with your peers, are ahead of them, or are falling behind. On the basic of this social clock, which you learn as you grew up, you evaluate your own social and professional development. If you're keeping pace with the rest of your peers (for example, you started dating at the "appropriate" age or you're finishing college at the "appropriate" age), you will feel well adjusted, competent, and a part of the group. If you're late, you'll probably experience feelings of dissatisfaction. Although today the social clock is becoming more flexible and more tolerant of deviations from the acceptable timetable than it was in past decades, it still exerts pressure on each of us to keep pace with our peers.

Significance of Touch in Culture

2009-03-03T23:02:00.000-08:00

Tactile communication or communication by touch, also referred to as haptics, is perhaps the most primitive form of communication.

The meanings of Touch

There are five major meanings of touch:

Positive emotions may be communicated by touch, mainly between intimates or others who have relatively close relationship. Among the most important of these positive emotions are support, appreciation, inclusion, sexual interest or intent and affection. Touch has been found to facilitate self- disclosure.

Touch often communicates playfulness, either affectionately or aggressively. When touch is used in this manner, the playfulness deemphasizes the emotion and tells the other person that it's not to be taken seriously. Playful touch lighten an interaction.

Touch also may control the behaviors, attitudes or feelings of the other person. Such control may communicate various different kinds of messages. To ask for compliance, for example, we touch the other person to communicate "Move over," "Hurry," "Stay here," or "Do it." Touching to control may also communicate status and dominance. The higher- status and dominance person, for example, initiates touch. In fact, it would be a breach of etiquette for the lower- status person to touch the person of higher status.

Ritualistic touching centers on greeting and departures. Shaking hands to say hello or goodbye is perhaps the clearest example of ritualistic touching, but we might also hug, kiss or put an arm around another's shoulder.

Task- related touching is associated with the performance of a function, such as removing a speck of dust from another's person face, helping someone out of a car, or checking someone's forehead for fever. Task- related touching seems generally to be regarded positively.

The above examples were based on studies in North America; in other culture these function are not served in the some way. In some cultures, for example, some task- related touching is viewed negatively and is to be avoided. Among Koreans it is considered disrespectful for a store owner to touch a customer in , say, handing back change; it is consider too intimate a gesture. A member of another culture who is used to such touching may consider the Korean's behavior cold and aloof. Muslim children are socialized not to touch members of the opposite sex; their behavior can easily be interpreted that unfriendly by American children who are used to touching one another.

Some cultures- including many in southern Europe and the Middle East- are contact cultures; others are non contact cultures, such as those of northern Europe and Japan. Members of contact cultures maintain close distance, touch one another in conversation, face each other more directly, and maintain longer and more focused eye contact. Members of non contact cultures maintain greater distance in their interaction, touch each other rarely, avoid facing each other directly, and maintain much less direct eye contact. As a result, , of these differences, problems may occur. For example, northern European and Japanese may be perceived as cold, distant and uninvolved by southern Europeans- who may in turn be perceived as pushy, aggressive and inappropriately intimate.

Chapter 5 Universals of Nonverbal Messages

2009-03-03T22:51:00.000-08:00

Nonverbal Communication and Culture
Significance of Color in Culture

Colors vary greatly in their meanings from one culture to another.

Color: Cultural Meanings and Comments

Red
- In China, red signifies prosperity and rebirth and is used for festive, joyous, occasions and luck;
- In France and the United Kingdom, it indicates masculinity;
- In African countries, blasphemy or death;
- In Japan, anger and danger; and
- In India, purity
- Red ink, especially among Korean Buddhists, is used only to write a person's name at the time of death or on the anniversary of the person's death; this can create problems when Americans teachers use red ink to mark homework.

Green
- In the United State, green signifies capitalism, go ahead and envy;
- In Ireland patriotism;
- Among some Native Americans, femininity;
- To the Egyptians, fertility and strength;
- To the Japanese, future, youth and energy; and
- In China, youth and growth

Black
- In Thailand, white signifies old age
- In part of Malaysia, courage;
- In China, evil
- In Japan, evil
- In much of Europe, death

White
- In Thailand, white signifies purity;
- In many Muslims and Hindu cultures, purity and peace; and
- In Japan and other Asian Countries, death and mourning

Blue
- In China, masculinity, calm and authority;
- In Iran, blue signifies something negative;
- In Ghana, joy;
- Among the Cherokee, it signifies defeat;
- For the Egyptian, virtue and truth; and
- For the Greek, national pride

Yellow
- In China, yellow signifies wealth, authority, honor and royalty;
- In the United States, caution, cowardice, joy and happiness;
- In Egypt, happiness and prosperity;
- In Japan, grace, nobility, childish and gaiety; and
- In many countries throughout the world, femininity

Purple
- In Latin America, purple signifies death;
- In Europe, royalty;
- In Egypt, virtue and faith;
- In Japan, grace and nobility;
- In China, barbarism and
- In the United States, nobility and bravery

Continuation on Perceptual Processes

2009-02-27T09:48:00.000-08:00

Perceptual Accentuation

Perceptual Accentuation leads you to see what you want to see.

Leads you to perceive what you need or want is really there and to fail to perceive what you don’t want to perceive.

Leads you to perceive and remember positive qualities more than negative ones and thus can distort your perception on others.

For example, by showing a RM50 note to a poor kid, the kid see a lot of money and means a lot to him. But if showing the same note to a rich kid who has more of those notes, he will see it as a mere of something insignificant compare to a new game console.

Primacy-Recency

Primacy and recently effect is the tendency to use earlier information to get a general idea about a person and to use later information to make this impression more specific. When later information is discrepant with earlier information, people tend to regard the first information as revealing the REAL person and to explain away later information as not typical.

People pay more attention to information that is presented when they are first trying to form an impression about someone.

Provided six adjectives to describe a person:
intelligent, industrious, impulsive, critical, stubborn, envious
Others given these six same words in reverse order:
They were asked to fill in a rating sheet to evaluate the person after they heard those six words: on how happy, how sociable, etc. –
The first group gave higher ratings: the primacy effect. The later evidence is interpreted in the light of first impressions

A negative first impression is more resistant to change than a positive one.

Consistency

To maintain balance among perceptions or attitudes is called as consistency.
1. You expect a person to like you.
2. You expect a person to you disliked to dislike you.
3. You expect a friend to like a friend.
4. You expect a friend to dislike your enemy.
5. You expect your enemy to dislike your friend.
6. You expect your enemy to like the other enemy.

Most people have such attitude because it is the way to happen. Unless specific circumstances happen, only will they change their perceptions.

Perceptual Processes

2009-02-27T00:00:00.000-08:00

Implicit Personality Theory

Each person has a subconscious or implicit system of rules that says which characteristics of an individual go with other characteristics.
The halo effect is a function of the implicit personality theory; if you believe a person has some positive qualities, you are likely to infer that she or he also processes other positive qualities.
The reverse-halo effect, if you know a person possesses several negative qualities, you are more likely to infers that the person also has other negative qualities.

Self Fulfilling Prophecy

Occurs when you make a prediction that comes true because you act on it as if it were true. Four steps to create a self fulfilling prophecy.
1. Create a prophecy about a person or a situation.
2. Act toward that person or situation as if that prediction or belief were true.
3. Because the act is true, the prediction became true.
4. Observe the effect on the person or a situation, and what is the evidence will strengthens the prophecy as true.

EXP: Boss explained to me about a task and saying that i will find it difficult in doing it.

I might have done a better job on it if my boss had not told me that it is difficult.

2 types of self fulfilling prophecy

SELF IMPOSED PROPHECIES

our own expectations that influence our behaviour.

exp: you woke up and said "it will be a bad day". You would most likely acted in a ways that made it come true

ONE PERSON EXPECTATIONS GOVERN ANOTHER'S ACTION

exp: A teacher told his student "You are clever". The student will accepts that evaluation and change his concept.

Influence of self-fulfilling prophecies

Business

-If we told the workers that they can do up to 500 cardboard a day. After they achieve the target, they will stop working and started to complain about it. However, if we did not told them about it, they will be able to do more.

Family

-Parent tell a child long enought that she could not do thing right. The child will incorporate this idea and fail at most of the time.

-If you told them that they are kind, lovely, there is a much greater chance of his behaving accordingly.

CHAPTER 4 PERCEPTION IN INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

2009-02-26T07:57:00.000-08:00

There are a question asking about do we perceieve everything in our daily life?

The answer is No. We do not perceive everything. We only select certain things to percieve.

So, why is it selective??

This is because we only choose those which we think that it is important to us to perceive.

Than what are the senses we use to perceieve things?

The correct answer is that we will usually use all kinds of senses such as smell, listen, taste,look, and etc.

Usually, our perception is base on our experiences, behaviour, cultures, and many mores.

How do we make sense of the world? How do our perceptions affect our communication with others? There are 5 steps to answer this questions.

STAGES of PERCEPTION

1)SELECTION

We exposed to many input in our daily life. The 1st step in perception is the selection of which data will attend to.

factors that cause us to notice some messages & ignore others.

-Stimuli that are intense often attract our attention. We usually will remember someone who is extremely tall or short and those who talk loud than those who is quiet.

-Motives determine how we perceive others.

example : Someone on the lookout for a romantic adventure will be especially aware of attractive potention partners.

-Emotional state affects our ability to detect other people's emotional states. Those in a happy moood were quick to notice when happy-appearing characters in a film appeared sadder, while unhappy subject were quicker at noticing when sad characters appeared more happy

2)ORGANIZATION

After slecting info from environment, we arrange it in some meaningful way.

4 types of schema to classify others.

-Physical constructs classify people according to their appearance

exp: beautiful or ugly

-Role constructs use social position

exp: student, attorney, and wife

-Interaction constructs focus on social behavior

exp: friendly, helpful, etc

-Psychological constructs

exp: generous, nervous, insecure, etc

Once we have selected an organizing scheme to classify people, we use that scheme to make generalizations about members of the groups who fit our categories.

EXP: If religion plays an important part in your life, you might think of members of your faith differently than you do others.

3)Interpretation

Once we selected and organized our perceptions, we interpret them in a way that makes some sort of sense.

Factors that cause us to interpret a person's behaviour in one way

-Our degree of involvement with the person

we tend to view people with whom we seek a relationship more favorably than those whom we observe from a detached persepctive

-Relational satisfaction

exp: couples in unsatisfying relationship are more likely than satisfied partners to blame one another when things go wrong

-Past experience

exp: you have been skeptical about an partment manager's assurances that careful housekeeping will ensure the refund of your cleaning deposit

-Expectations

exp: college students are les pessimistic about a relationship's future sucess when a partner's attributes are framed in positive rather than negative terms, even though the attributes are objectively identical.

-Knowledge of others

exp: if we know an instructor is rude to all students, then you won't be likely to take her remakrs personally.

4) Negotiation

The process which communicators influence each other's perceptions through communication

Here are some test on your perception.( Please try it out!!!) Its very interesting.

http://www.scientificpsychic.com/graphics/

Communication Apprehension

2009-02-21T23:47:00.000-08:00

Communication apprehension is first stage fright found in public speaking class ,speech classrooms, school assemblies, and drama productions.

The Nature of Communication Apprehension
It is the amount of anxiety that effects a student's oral communication, social skills, and self-esteem.

Communication apprehension is also known as CA.

Its is basically the level of fear and anxiety an individual has

There are 2 types of apprehensions

TRAIT APPREHENSION

Afraid generally

Fear to communicate in public

For eg:

Just notice all the students we have in our class. We can see that some of them are very "noisy" ( haha... just joking) and brave to speak in public. Whereas, there are some very quiet ones who you can see them rarely speaking. From this, we can roughly notice the people in our class who have Higher Communication Apprehension.

STATE APPREHENSION

Afraid to communicate in specific presentations
Only to certain people such as lecturer, professor

Dealing with certain people

For certain people they are fine when speaking but afraid to sing

For eg:
I'm sure you've came across this scenario before. You've seen your friends being very talkative in class and when they are out in a group with you. But for a certain presentation in front of the lecturers or strangers you find them feeling being nervous about their presentation. This may seems to be weird but its actually state apprehension.

P/S: To all group 3 members, if you guys have anyting to add on you are all most
welcome.....:)

Renaldo's concept on life

2009-02-20T23:59:00.000-08:00

People always say that i'm very care free and i'm a happy go lucky guy, Well my concept of life is that , if there's nothing you can do at that particular moment, then why worry? Another concept of mine is that, whats life without a little risk. I mean, how much safety precaution can one take. If something is going to happen, then its going to happen. And lastly, what ever goes around, comes around.

Self Concept

2009-02-20T08:15:00.000-08:00

What is self concept? How you think about or evaluate yourself. It includes your feelings and thoughts about your strengths and weaknesses, your abilities and limitations.

Self- concept is influenced by your sense of identity. Two things have powerfull effects on your self concept:

(a) The opinion and judgements other people make of us

According to Charles Horton Cooley's concept of the looking- glass self, you would look at the image of yourself that others reveal to you through the way they treat you and react to you.

You would look espcially to those who are most significant in your life- to your significant others. For example, as a child, you would look to your parents and then to your teachers. If your significant others think highly of your, you will see the positive image of yourself reflected in their behaviours; if they think little of you, you will see a more negative image. These reflections that you see others help you define your self- concept.

(b) Social Comparisons

It is the perceptions of the ways in which you are similar to and different from other people. When you want to gain insight into who you are and how effective or competent you are, you probably look to your peers. For example, after an examination you probably want to know how you performed relative to the other students in your class.

My self concept

I think that I am quite clumsy and don't how to use my brain. This is because when my mother ask me to do something for her and I did wrongly or not according to her wish, then she will scold " Use your brain!". This also make me lack of confidence in doing things. This shows that because of my significant other think little of me, so I have the negative image of myself. In addition, I will also build my self concept by making comparision with my peers. When I was in secondary school, I will compare my result with my classmates. If most of my classmates get low marks than me, then i will have the concept that my result is good and vice versa.

Mine Self Concept

2009-02-20T08:11:00.000-08:00

I am a quiet person.
I was told that I was very intelligent but I am lazy and careless. Those mistakes can be avoided if I am pay more attention.
I am easily bored, when bored I start to draws.
I am talented in crafts and arts but it seems to be a useless talent.
I don't like to reveal too much of myself, because I believe that people out there will hurt you if we were disclose too much personal infomation especially our weaknesses.
So, i shall end here...
T_T sorry...

My Self- Concept

2009-02-20T02:19:00.000-08:00

Self - Concept, I'm sure all of you know what it means. Self concept is actually what you think about yourself. Ok... Let me see...What do i think about my self.

Basically I'm a very quiet person as you see, but when you get to know about me more I'm actually not that quiet. So i guess the term "Trait apprehension" best suits my personality. (haha...)

In addition, I'm also afraid to speak in public. When I'm close and familiar to a person i can sometimes be a pest to them (If i have the mood ^-^). Furthermore, i am also an observer. I love to observe people and what they do. From that, i will roughly try to guess how the person is. Besides, I'm very fast at trusting a person and that might be some thing very dangerous. (I'll have to learn to not trust people very fast!!). Hence, I'm a person who will always keep my problems to myself. I never share any problems i have to anyone. In my school days till today, my friends and family will always share their problem with me. Even if i don't share my problem with anyone, but i am a good listener though.( So you can count on me!!!)

When I'm at home i will be a totally different person. At times i can get angry real fast. ( That's something i don't really like about) I'm also a very shy and timid person,( I wish I'm not) and because of that I've actually missed a lot of interesting things in life. As said I'm only noisy when I'm with the people i know. Furthermore, i love to try something new and adventurous.( Its kind of fun!!) In brief, i can say that I'm not the brave and outgoing type but I'd always love to try and achieve something new in life.

[^-6]

In memory of Sharoon

2009-02-17T05:13:00.000-08:00

It was too shock for me and everone when we heard that she passed away in an accident...i could not believe it and din really pay much attention to it as i was still sleeping...by the time i woke up...i felt that..the world had changed...there are somebody missing in this world..somebody that made up part of we ADP-ians life..

Yesterday, just went to have lunch with her...it was my first time..i thought i will have the 2nd chance to have lunch with her again...but...everything was too late....i do not have the chance anymore....will never ever have that chance anymore..furthermore...yesterday was the 1st time i fetch her .... and she kept telling me that i'm a good guy...but i ignore her..that's what makes me feel bad....if i have the chance..i hope i can answer and accept the compliment given by her...i really hope i can.....

She was the girl i kacau the most in class....although din really noe her...i jz felt that she is like a lil sister to me...and she is now not in this world anymore....not in the class anymore...

we cant c her sleep in the class, we cant c her presentation, we cant hear the laughter of her, we cant hear the way she called "teacher teacher teacher".......all of this will only in our memory.....

i wanted to continue writing...but i really cant....each word i wrote it makes me think of her....and it makes my heart broken and broken again.....

Sharon.. rest in peace... take care of your self in your next life.... we will miss you and remember you... you are part of us....

that's her pretty pic that i could find in my com............

let's remember her pretty cute face

Self Destructive & Self Disclosure

2009-02-12T18:36:00.000-08:00

Self Destructive

Self destructing is basically an individual underestimating themselves. They make themselves fell unworthiness. Hence, when a person is self destructing, he/she will give negative thoughts to their oneself.

For eg:

1) Lack of Self confidence

Like some students, before entering to a public speaking class they will
be thinking that they are not good at speaking, they are going to give a
bad presentation and more negative thoughts. Therefore, before doing
the presentation they have already set in their mind that their
presentation today is going to be bad.

2) Trying to impress others.

In certain companies we can always find a staff who is ever ready to do all the stuffs in the office. They would be the outstanding one and 'so called' the most hardworking staff. Actually this is all done by the staffs to impress their employer so that they can get a promotion. When they agree to do all the job in the office, the staff will end up being tensed for having to much of work to be done. They will then pay more attention on finishing the work rather than the quality of the work. So, all their performance would be average only. The quality of their work will not be impressive. On the other hand, the other staffs who took less work would give a better quality work. Hence, the employer would be impressed with the staff that did an excellent job. In brief, the staff who tried to impress the employer was actually destructing their image and the quality of their work.

Self Disclosure

Sharing information about yourself to others.

-->values, beliefs and desires

-->behaviour

-->self-qualities or character

Way of gaining information about another person

Let people know things that they don't know about you.

Learn about how another person thinks and feels

Self-disclosure involves risk and vulnerability on the part of the person sharing the information

Advantages

-->Self-Knowledge:-

Gain a deeper understanding on your own behaviour.
Learn to accept yourself from other people's view.
You respond by developin a more positive self -concept

Communication and Relationship Effectiveness

Understands other people's message to the extend you understand them
When a person disclose their self another another person will automatically disclose too.
Disclosure deepens trust in the relationships and helps both people understand each other better

Psychological Health

People who disclose are less vulnerable to sickness

Feel better about yourself and your relationship when your partner accepts what you tell them.
For eg: raped victim who dont share their problem to others will suffer from sexual trauma, illness ( headache & stomach problems)

Disadvantages

Personal Risks:

Risk is that the person will not respond favorably to the information you disclose
It does not always lead to favorable impressions
Maybe rejected by even the closest friend and family members.
For eg: A guy who disclose that he has cheated on his partner, may find his partner no longer wanting to be quite close as before.

Relational Risk

Can cause problem even in close, lng term relationships
May threaten a relationship causing decrease in mutual attraction.
Self-disclosure concerning romantic fantasies, crimes or lies could easily cause negative effect.
One person will gain power in the relationship because of too much of disclosure
Self-disclosure that comes too early in a relationship can damage the relationship.

Professional risks

Revealing political views or attitudes towards different religious can create problem.
Gay and lesbian personnel in military, as well in education, law enforcement, etc..... ( they are isolated)

A useful way of viewing self-disclosure is the Johari window.

The Johari window has 4 panes:
Open Pane:- known to self and others
Blind Pane:- blind to self, seen by others
Hidden Pane :-open to self, hidden from others
Unknown Pane:- unknown to self and others

So guys check out a short quiz that we've here...

Lets see how much you understand The Johari Window....

GOOD LUCK!!!!!! :) (^-6)

http://www.abacon.com/commstudies/interpersonal/indisclosurequiz.html

Prepared by:

Jayshrisharrlini

Dimensions of Self

2009-02-12T06:48:00.000-08:00

Self-Esteem
Personal perception of self worth.
Can be relate with self confidence.

Self-Image
Self image is not self esteem.
The mantal image of self or the self in the mirror we are looking at daily. Our outer appearance.

Self-Awareness
Personal aware or more sensitive of their surrounding and actions. Through more understanding of oneself or others can help in self-awareness.

Self-Consciousness
Is not self-awareness. It is an acute sense of self awareness. For example having a feeling of everyone is looking although nobody is looking. Sometimes due to shyness or paranoia. This is a negative effect of self-awareness. It can effect the self-esteem.

Self-Actualization
A motive to realize one's potentials and ability. It is as same as enlightenment. Like finding the purpose in life or the truth of the Universe.

Johari Window - the process of human interaction

2009-02-10T10:23:00.000-08:00

Last Friday, Ms. Cheryl asked us to find our a few term and prepare for the next class before the end of the class and one of the thing she asked to find out is Johari Window. I'm kinda interested in this as i read before few years back in Anthony Robbins "Awaken the Giant Within" - How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny or some other motivation books.

The Johari Window:

The Johari Window, named after the first names of its inventors, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, is one of the most useful models describing the process of human interaction. A four paned "window,", divides personal awareness into four different types, as represented by its four quadrants: open, hidden, blind, and unknown. The lines dividing the four panes are like window shades, which can move as an interaction progresses.

In this model, each person is represented by their own window. Let's describe mine:

1. The "open" quadrant represents things that both I know about myself, and that you know about me. For example, I know my name, and so do you, and if you have explored some of my blog or ev, you know some of my interests. The knowledge that the window represents, can include not only factual information, but my feelings, motives, behaviors, wants, needs and desires... indeed, any information describing who I am.

2. The "blind" quadrant represents things that you know about me, but that I am unaware of. So, for example, we could be eating at a restaurant, and I may have unknowingly gotten some food on my face. This information is in my blind quadrant because you can see it, but I cannot. If you now tell me that I have something on on my face, then the window shade move to the right, enlarging the open quadrant's area. Now, I may also have blindspots with respect to many other much more complex things.

3. The "hidden" quadrant represents things that I know about myself, that you do not know. So for example, I dint tell you anything about myself, you will never know thew hidden part of me such as interest, desire,secret and much more.....

4. The "unknown" quadrant represents things that neither I know about myself, nor you know about me. For example, I may scared of cat, naturally and unconsciously, and neither me or you or anyone know about this. This may lead to the unconscious mind that....

That all for Johari Window and I will continue to write about the advantages of knowing this and how it enhance and change our daily life as a person in nest few day.

Chapter 3 The Self in Interpersonal Communication

2009-02-10T10:09:00.000-08:00

Self- Awareness

http://kevan.org/johari.cgi

go to the link there and try out the johari window!!!!

Chap Goh Meh

2009-02-09T07:48:00.000-08:00

Chap Goh Meh is actually the direct translate from Hokkien meaning the fifteen night of Chinese New Year.

During this event, the girls will throw oranges in order to get a good husband. the guys will throw apple to get a good wife. Annually this event will be held at Esplanade maybe because there is a sea near there. They throw the fruits into the sea.

The Miss Pesta Penang is also there to throw the oranges.

There is lion dance and the dondang sayang bus where the dancers are riding it to the venue.

The are also baba-nyonyas there as performers.

It ends with beautiful fireworks.

continuation of Thaipusam

2009-02-08T08:36:00.000-08:00

Before we start let me tell you briefly what Thaipusam is.

THAIPUSAM

A festival occurring in the Tamil month Thai (January-February)
The day of the star Pusam around Pournami (Full Moon) is celebrated as Thai Pusam
Special day for worship of Lord Muruga (Lord Shiva & Goddess Parvathi's 2nd son)

Lord Siva & Goddess Parvathi

Lord Murugan

It is celebrated for three days:-
1st day- Chettipusam
2nd day-Thaipusam
3rd day -Chariot procession
Devotees carry kavadis & milk as offerings to the Lord Murugan during Thaipusam.
The kavadis symbolize the hills of burden that Idumban ( Lord Murugan's guardian) shouldered.

On the 3rd day, devotees break coconut during the chariot procession.
Carrying Kavadis, milk and breaking coconut is done when a person who's prayers are granted.

So now, let us see some pictures and videos taken during Thaipusam:

Just look at the amount of crowds following the Kavadi...

The Kavadi was busy dancing ( that why the photo's not that clear)

Here is the video of a guy taking off his Kavadi..

************************************************************************************

In the Chetti temple where all the Kavadi's must stop buy.

This in the temple where the chariot is kept. People usually
make a wish & throw money into the chariot.

Lord Murugan here is made of pure gold.

When i went to the temple, guess who i saw??? Yes, our Chief Minister..:)

***************************************************************************************

Chariot procession

Chariot procession at night.Even though it was nearly mid-night there are still many people.

People waiting to break the coconuts. (Just look at the amount of coconuts!!!)

Look at the pile of broken coconuts.

Here is the video of people breaking the coconuts.

****************************************************************************************

Therefore, i really had a great time in Thaipusam. In addition Thaipusam this year was really grand as so many people turned up.So here is a video for you guys to see the amount of crowd who turned up to Thaipusam. The amount of crowd is very small compared to the real crowd.

*** The End ***

Thaipusam

2009-02-08T01:21:00.000-08:00

Further information on the culture will be up before Thursday

Renaldo's culture

2009-02-07T21:18:00.000-08:00

I choose guitar, in other words music, as my culture because most eurasions are good at music. Though my parents are chinese, indian and irish, i do not follow either of their culture. Music isn't just music to me, it is an art and a symphony of different sounds and notes that inextricably intertwined into my way of life. I release the tensions and problems that i have through music. There are many types of music and same goes to the different characteristic and types of people. Different music brings out different character and thats how i see life mostly. When i play the guitar i have a sense of calm and soothing feeling, a feeling that somehow takes away my problem. It gives me a whole new significance to the different things in my life. These are the reasons i bring music into my culture. I cannot imagine my life without the existence of music as it has bring me so much joy and laughter.

My Culture.....Jayshrisharrlini

2009-02-07T08:13:00.000-08:00

Indian Culture

The set that is given to ladies who participates in the ceremony.

Oookkkk...I'm sure some of you out there wonder what is this thing in the tray with a yellow string, turmeric,bangles and red 'pottu".

Basically, these are the things that are needed in a ceremony which is done before the marriage. A ceremony called "nalanghu" will be done for the bride and the groom ( separately) before their marriage. Only ladies are allowed to participate in this ceremony. When the ceremony is done, the bride and the groom will give this tray to the ladies who participated.

Now, let me explain the meaning of each things in the tray:

Turmeric - Symbolises Gold ( people who have money will usually tie the Thali with Gold

Ornament)

Turmeric tied to a yellow string

Gold Ornament tied to the yellow string

**************************************************************************************

Thali - A symbol oh Hindu marriage, consisting of a gold ornament strung from a yellow

thread.The word 'Thali" means an auspicious thread or chord. When a marriage is

arranged the pattern is usually chosen by the groom's family.

Groom tying the knot (Thali)

***************************************************************************************

'Kumkum' pottu- All married woman has to use red 'pottu' as a symbol they are married.

On The wedding day the groom put the red 'pottu' for the bride.

Married ladies wear ' red pottu' after their wedding.

***************************************************************************************

Bangles- Married ladies wear bangles as a symbol of matrimony.

Hence, for each and everything that we use in our culture conyeys a meaning. Therefore, i hope that all of you would have understand a bit about the Indian culture.

Lisa's Item

2009-02-07T07:27:00.000-08:00

The Chinese Fan
It is made from sandalwood with detail cravings on the front of the fan.
Fan are use to cool down the user during hot days. Since it is made with sandalwood, it will have some scent when it is used.
Usually the cravings will be Dragon & Phoenix.
Dragon represent the male counterpart, Phoenix represent the female counterpart.
The more detail the fan has or any special ornament at the end of a fan, the represent different status of the holder.
Now these fans will be used for Chinese traditional dance.

Siew Ting's culture

2009-02-07T05:59:00.000-08:00

An amulet- one of the things that represent my culture. Every 8th or 9th day of Chinese New Year, my grandmother will go to the temple to ask "Poh Teoh Pek"(medium) about my family fortune on that year. Usually, my grandmother will ask me to write down my family member name, age and address for her to take to temple for asking purpose. The medium will look at the particulars and let my grandmother know our fortune one by one. Furthermore, she will also take along our T- shirts for stamping and we have to wear it to look for safety. Last year, the medium said that i have bad luck and will have a car accident. So, he drew an amulet and ask me to keep in wallet to avoid evil. I also told that not to sit or step accross the amulet because it show not respect to the god. The amulet that show in the photo is made of cloth. There are also have paper amulet that usually burn and put in water to drink. Although it is the thing that represent my culture, I feel that it is unhygien to drink the amulet water.

Patrick's Culture

2009-02-07T02:05:00.000-08:00

We all want success in life. We want success in our home life, business life, and in our relationships with others. The "key" to success is having a positive attitude. Without a positive attitude success is not possible. Earl Nightingale call attitude "the magic word". You will never attract positive things into your life if all of your thoughts are negative. Just as a magnet attracts anything metal our minds attract the things we think about most. Your mind will always seek to turn the things you think about most into physical reality. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, "A man becomes what he thinks about, most of the time."

Teik Houng's Culture

2009-02-07T02:01:00.000-08:00

this is the jade that i always bring with me. It was known as a thing which can help me to avoid from any problems suchs and help me to get things that i want easily. If you believe it, than only u will feel that it is helpful.

How Culture Differ

2009-02-06T23:50:00.000-08:00

High Power Distance Cultures

Power is concentrated in the hands of a few and there is a great difference in the power held by these people and that held by the ordinary citizen. In high power distance cultures, direct confrontation and assertiveness may be viewed negatively, especially if directed at a superior. You are taught to have great respect for authority; people in these culture see authority as desirable and beneficial and challenges to authority are generally not welcomed.e.g. In one study Asian adolescents (high power distance culture) had greater difficulty discussing problems with their parents than did Caucasians (low power distance culture). In high power distance cultures, there're a great power distance between students and teachers; students are expected to be modest, polite, and totally respectful. High power distance cultures rely more on symbols of power. For example, titles (Dr., Professor, Chef, Inspector) are more importance in high power distance cultures. Failure to include these in forms of address is a serious breach of etiquette.

Low Power Distance Cultures

In low power distance cultures there is a general feeling of equality that is consistent with acting assertively, and so you are expected to confront a friend, partner or supervisor assertively. In low power distance cultures, there are certain distrust for authority; it's seen as a kind of necessary evil that should be limited as much as possible. This difference in attitudes toward authority can be seen right in the classroom. In low power distance power cultures students are expected to demonstrate their knowledge and command of the subject matter, participate in discussions with the teacher and even challenge the teacher. Low power distance cultures rely less on symbols of power, and less of a problem is created if you fail to use a respectful title. But even in low power distance cultures you may create problem if, for example, you call a medical doctor, police captain, military officer or professor Ms. or Mr.

Masculine Cultures

In a highly "masculine" culture men are viewed as assertive, oriented to material success, and strong; women on the other hand are viewed as modest, focused on the quality of life and tender. Masculine cultures emphasize success and socialize their people to be assertive, ambitious and competitive. Members of masculine cultures are thus more likely to confront conflicts directly and to competitively fight out any differences; they're more likely to emphasize win- lose conflict strategies. Organization also can be viewed in terms of masculinity of femininity. Masculine organizations emphasize competitiveness aggressiveness. They focus on the bottom line and reward their workers on the basic of their contribution to the organization.

Feminine Cultures

In highly "feminine" culture, both men and women are encouraged to be modest, oriented to maintaining the quality of life and tender. Feminine cultures emphasize the quality of life and socialize their people to be modest and to emphasize close interpersonal relationship. Members of feminine cultures are thus more likely to emphasize compromise and negotiation in resolving conflict; they are more likely to seek win- win solutions. Not surprisingly, people in feminine notion score significantly lower on depression levels. Feminine organization are less competitive and less aggressive. They are more likely to emphasize worker satisfaction and rewards their workers on the basic of need; those who have large families, for example, may get better raises than the single people, even if the singles have contributed more to the organization.

Individual and Collective Orientation
This aspect of culture refers to the extent to which the individual's goals and desires or the group's goals and desire are given greater importance. Individual and collective tendencies are not mutually exclusive; it is not "all or nothing" but rather a matter of emphasis.
Distinctions between in- group members and out- group members are extremely important in collectivist cultures. In individualistic cultures, which prize a person's distinctive qualities, the in- group versus out- group distinctions is likely to be less important.

High Context Cultures
A high- context culture is one in which much of the information in communications is contained in the context or in the person, for example, information that is shared through previous communication, through assumptions that participants hold about each other, and through shared experiences. The information is not explicitly stated in the verbal message.
High- context cultures are also collectivist cultures. These cultures place great emphasis on personal relationship and oral agreements.
Members of high- context cultures spend lots of time getting to know each other before any important transactions take place. Because of this prior personal knowledge, a great deal of information is shared and therefore does not have to be explicitly stated.
To the members of this cultures, what is assumed is a vital part of the communication transaction. For example, silence is highly valued. People in this cultures are reluctant to say no for fear of giving offense and causing the person to lose face. For example, it is necessary to determine when the Japanese executive's yes means yes and when it means no.

Low Context Cultures
A low context cultures is one in which much of most information is explicitly stated in the verbal message, as well as in formal transactions in written(contract) form.
Low context cultures are also individualistic cultures. These cultures place less emphasis on personal relationship and more emphasis on written, explicit explanation. For example, on the written contracts in business transactions.
To low context cultures' members, what is omitted creates ambiguity; this ambiguity is to be eliminated by explicit and direct communication.
For people in this cultures, it is easy to interpret the reluctance which is direct- to say no when someone means no- as a weakness or as an unwillingness to confront reality.

Continuation on Culture...

2009-02-06T23:22:00.000-08:00

6th February 09

Hello hello..
Some of us didn't do our homework on researching what these terms mean, so , anyway, here is what we got after googling around.

1. Ethnic Identity - Ethnic identification describes the relationship that exists between an individual and a group with whom the individual believes he or she has common ancestry based on shared individual characteristics, shared sociocultural experiences, or both. An individual may identify with an important person, eg, a parent or a friend, with a group from which he or she draws values, eg, family or co-workers, or with a broad category of persons, eg, ethnic or occupational groups. Ethnic identification can exist at the individual, family or group level.

2.Enculturation - the process by which a person learns the requirements of the culture by which he or she is surrounded, and acquires values and behaviours that are appropriate or necessary in that culture.The influences which as part of this process limit, direct or shape the individual, whether deliberately of not, include parents, other adults, and peers. If successful, enculturation results in competence in the language, values and rituals of the culture.
The process of enculturation is related to socialization. In some academic fields, socialization refers to the deliberate shaping of the individual, in others, the word may be used to cover both deliberate and informal enculturation.

3. Acculturation - A process in which members of one cultural group adopt the beliefs and behaviors of another group. Although acculturation is usually in the direction of a minority group adopting habits and language patterns of the dominant group, accult uration can be reciprocal--that is, the dominant group also adopts patterns typical of the minority group. Assimilation of one cultural group into another may be evidenced by changes in language preference, adoption of common attitudes and values, members hip in common social groups and institutions, and loss of separate political or ethnic identification

Following on , we were all asked to gather and sit at the front of the auditorium since it was pretty hard for Ms. Cheryl to handle the noises made by us, the baboons. We were told to write down 'what characteristic/personality/physical aspect' that could define us. Some of us in the class had to step forward after being called by ms cheryl to present on our following 'definition of ourselves'.

We really enjoyed this opening up session as we got to hear some box-office, 5 stars stories such as the one from Jewel. I must say,a very, very interesting and awesome way of cheering up the whole atmosphere in the auditorium.

Alrite, it is my cue to stop writing now. My fellow friends, remember to find and do your homework on the terms given by Ms Cheryl yea?

Chapter 2 Culture in Interpersonal Communication

2009-02-05T04:12:00.000-08:00

Culture...

Good day everyone,

This is our very first time blogging, so do excuse us if there are any unwanted errors.

Anyway, each and everyone of us had to write down our respective practiced cultures and then present it to the class. Not all manage to present, however, we did learn quite a bit about the other cultures we heard today.

Among them are such as the culture of the Indians ,not being able to marry more than once. This is somehow due to the legend of the Indian God being married to two different women that shares a same soul. What we're about to say right now is definitely something new to us after hearing that the Indians are not suppose to cut their hair on certain days. Pretty fascinating ha..

Next , the Chinese are suppose to keep the lights on during Chinese New Year. .(any waste of electricity?)
Nah, we're not too sure about the real story behind keeping the lights on all the time, but we're guessing it is to ward off evil? Is it? enlighten us if you know ,please.

One of the cultures we heard today, "You cannot point your index finger towards a full moon". Some said this is true, as there will be a slight cut on the back of your ear. The moon is believed to symbolize some form of gods. How true is this? Some of us choose not to believe in it. Oh well.

Another interesting culture we heard today was, most Malays eat with their hands as it is believed that the hands will produce some sort of enzymes that will help in our digestion. So people, lets try eating with our hands from now on. ; )

Any of the Group 3 members who wishes to add more details , information, etc into this blog, please do so.

Theoriessss~~~

2009-01-25T01:08:00.000-08:00

Bobo doll experiment

it was conducted by Albert Bandura in 1961 and studied patterns

of behaviour associated with aggression.

His experiment is important to psychology because it was a precedent that sparked many

more studies about the effects of viewing violence on children.

The subjects studied in this experiment involved 36 boys

and 36 girls from the Stanford University Nursery School ranging in age between 3 and 6. The control group was composed of 24 children. The first experimental group comprised 24 children exposed to aggressive model behavior. The second experimental group comprised 24 children exposed to nonaggressive model behavior. The first and second

experimental group were divided again based on sex. Finally, the experimental groups were divided into groups exposed to same-sex models and opposite-sex models.

Bandura found that the children exposed to the aggressive model were more

likely to act in physically aggressive ways than those who were not exposed to the aggressive model. For those children exposed to the aggressive model, the number of imitative physical aggressions exhibited by the boys was 38.2 and 12.7 for the girls. The same pattern applied to the instances of imitative verbal aggression exhibited by the

child exposed to the aggressive model as opposed to those exposed to the nonaggressive model or no model at all. The number of imitative verbal aggressions exhibited by the boys was 17 times and 15.7 times by the girls. Both the imitative physical and verbal aggression were rarely, if ever, exhibited

by the children exposed to the nonaggressive model or no model at all.

Bandura and his associates never successfully supported their theory of social learning in that specific behaviors such as aggression can be learned through observing and imitating others even if reinforcement is not used either on the model or

the subject. They came to the conclusion that children observing adult behaviour are influenced to think that this type of behaviour is acceptable thus weakening the child's aggressive inhibitions. The result of reduced aggressive inhibitions in children means that they are more likely to respond to future situations in a more

aggressive manner.

In a follow-up study, Bandura found that when children viewed aggressive behaviour and then viewed that behaviour being either rewarded or punished that children were less likely to emit aggressive behaviours when they had viewed an adult model being punished for

aggressive behavior. Children who saw the model rewarded did not differ in aggressive behaviors from those that saw a model receive no reward. Bandura then offered an incentive for all three groups of children to recall what had happened in the video, and all three groups recalled the modeled aggression at

approximately similar levels.

Media 2 Step Theory

it was discovered by Paul Lazarsfeld and company in the year 1940.

This theory means that how KEY people affect others.

We're not directly influence by the media but the middle man who known as " opinion leader"

The information from media moves from distinct stages.

1)Individuals which is the opinion leaders who pay close attention to the mass media and its messages receive the information

2)Opinion leaders pass on their own interpretations in addition to the actual media content

For more information about Opinion leader, there are 2 types of it

-Monomorphic

influention on one topic

-Polymorphic

influential on a variety of topics

Multi-Step theory

It basically means that there are different channels to influence us, not only media.

There are a process name diffusion process which the acceptance of an innovation is spread by communication to members to social system over time.

4 Forms of Noise

2009-01-24T08:26:00.000-08:00

Communication noise refers to influences on effective communication that influence the interpretation of consersations. While often looked over, communication noise can have a profound impact both on our perception of interactions with others and our analysis of our own communication proficiency.

There are four types of communication noise

Psychological Noise
Physical Noise
Physiological Noise
Semantic Noise

Psychological noise

Psychological noise results from preconceived notions we bring to conversations, such as racial stereotypes, reputations, biases , and assumptions. When we come into a conversation with ideas about what the other person is going to say and why, we can easily become blinded to their original message. Most of the time psychological noise is impossible to free ourselves from, and we must simply strive to recognize that it exists and take those distractions into account when we converse with others.

Physical noise

Physical noise is any external or environmental stimulus that distracts us from receiving the intended message sent by a communicator. Examples of physical noise include: others talking in the background, background music, a startling noise and acknowledging someone outside of the conversation.

Physiological noise

Physiological noise is the bodily factors which influence communication. This includes the way these feelings and movements affect both the sender and the receiver. The sender may feel sick to his or her stomach and have a racing heart caused by nervousness about a public speech or stress from work. The receiver may notice the sender sweating, twitching, or glancing away. All these noises affect the way the sender is able to effectively communicate as well as the way the receiver is able to effectively decode the message. The receiver may intrepret these signs of nerves to the sender being dishonest without there being any verbal clue to indicate that the he or she is lying.

Semantic noise

Of the various forms of noise, semantic noise may be the most common and difficult to define. It can best be described as particular diction or syntax that leads to confusion or misinterpretation of the intended message. One reason semantic noise is so widespread is how easily it can extend to written language. For example, the reader may perceive this article to be correct if it is written well enough, though that has little to do with the content. However, a person using language this formal in casual conversation may seem a bit strange. Semantic noise often takes the form of disrespectful or outdated terminology that offends a particular group or demographic. It also occurs with words or phrases that mean different things to different people. Indeed, semantic noise occurs to some extent or another in almost all forms of verbal communication

Elements of Interpersonal Comm

2009-01-23T06:33:00.000-08:00

Source-receiver is the person who sends and receives interpersonal messages simultaneously.

Encoding-decoding refers to the act of putting meaning into verbal and nonverbal messages and deriving meaning from the messages you receive from others.

Encoding refers to the act of producing messages thru speaking or writing
Decoding refers to the act of understanding messages.
Speakers and writers are encoders.
Listeners and readers are decoders.

Feedback messages are messages that are sent back by the receiver to the source in response to other messages.
There are positive feedback and negative feedback.
Positive feedback eg: compliment.
Negative feedback eg: critism.

Immediate or delayed feedback
Feedback about how fast you respond to a question.Some will answer without hesitant.Some will answer with consideration.
For example, when a guy propose to a girl, sometimes they take days to reply back, but some just agrees to it immedietly.

Low Monitoring and High Monitoring
Feedback varies from the spontaneous and totally honest reaction (low monitoring feedback) to the carefully constructed response designed to serve a specific purpose (high monitoring feedback).

Feedforward messages are messages that preface other messages and ask that the listener approach future messages in a certain way.

Altercasting
A strategy to persuade people to act in a specific social role. So that they can bahave more prim and proper.

Phatic Communication
Communicate for its own sake. Also known as social grooming, essential in initiating the interactions. It can increased relationship satisfaction, trust, and experience of family affection while growing up.

To preview a message
A type of Feedforward message, to preview the content such as “I got a good news to tell you”

To Disclaim a message
The disclaimer is a statement that aims to ensure that your messages will be understood and will not reflect negatively on you.

Characteristics Of Interpersonal Communication (Dyadic)

2009-01-23T04:47:00.000-08:00

Dyadic Primacy

When you have triads, dyads are still primary. Dyads are always central to interpersonal relationships. There is dyadic primacy in almost every large group. Even in families, work groups, neighbours or students in class. Each large group will breakdown into a series of dyads. The specific dyads formed naturally depend on the situation, and dyads will probably change over time.

Dyadic Coalitions

A dyadic coalition is a two person relationship formed for achieving a mutually desired benefit or goal. In groups larger than two, dyadic coalitions will frequently form. Coalitions whether in family, among friends, or at work, may be productive or unproductive. Two workers may form a coalition to develop a program for improving worker morale.

At other times, coalition will be unproductive. For example, a husband or a wife, especially during marital difficulties may form a coalition with one of their children. This often results in alienating the left out spouse and preventing the child from benefiting from a close relationship with that parent.

Dyadic Consciousness

As relationships develop, a dyadic consciousness emerges; they will begin to see or notice they work as a pair, a team or a couple. It is almost as if a third party enters the picture. No longer is it just one and the other. It is now you and the other person and the relationship in between. As relationship becomes more involved, this third party takes on greater importance. Often individuals sacrifice their own desires or needs for the well being of “the relationship.”

our 1st class for interpersonal communication

2009-01-22T00:10:00.000-08:00

Well, i do not know what Ms Cheryl did during the beginning of the class as i was late. However, when i reached the class, i saw lots of paper sticking on the wall. Ms Cheryl asked us to write down what others think about us on the paper. After that, she asked all of us to go around and read what our coursemate wrote about themselves. Besides that, she also asked us to write something about us that no one knows.(pssss... its a secret)

In this activity, i discovered that there are 1 common personality that we all share, which is " laziness". However, this does not mean that we ADP-ians are lazy. I got to know more about my coursemates through this activity and would love to know more about them.

Ms Cheryl read out loud our little secrets and made us guess who would that person be. ( That activity was kindda fun!!!!)

From my observation and understanding, i discovered that we usually do not show out our real personality to our friends. Hence, only a little part of us will be revealed. For example, i knew my best friend about 8 years and although we are friends for such a long time, we will never share our thoughts immeadetly. My freind will keep it a secret and remain silence and only after sometime, he will tell me what he was doing and thinking. Furthermore, people will change their behavior according to the environment, so, sometimes we will never know who they are as they will keep changing the way they behave. Moreover, we do not want others to know about our real identitiy or weakness. As human beings it is our nature to always defend our self.

Purpose of Interpersonal Communication

2009-01-16T09:18:00.000-08:00

We learn Interpersonal Communication this semester is to know about communication between each other. We get to learn, to relate, to influence, to help and to play along the class.

Miss Cheryl starts the class by asking us to do introduction of oneself by using a new way. We wrote 5 simple things that people know about us on a piece of a paper, when we are done, we paste the paper on the wall. After that, everyone got the chances to walk around the class to look at what other classmates have written about themselves.

Next step is we wrote some things about ourselves that we haven reveal to others about. And we folder the paper and hand it in to Miss Cheryl. She reads out one by one of the piece in her hand and let us guess who might the owner of the description be based on our previous perception of the person. We have fun in guessing them. But at last, we never get to know who belong to whose.

In conclusion, we get to introduce ourselves and get to learn new information about our classmates.

Forms of Interpersonal Communication

2009-01-16T01:01:00.000-08:00

There are two forms of interpersonal communication:
1. Face- to- face communication
2. Online Communication

Face- to face communication
- talking with other students before class
- interacting with friends and family over dinner
- This form of communication probably come to mind when you think of conversation

OnlineCommunication
- E-mail
~ common use of the Internet
~ in email you type your letter in an email program and send it

- Mailing list group
~ consists of group of people interested in a particular topic who communicate with each other through e- mail

- Instant Messaging (Often abbreviated IM)
~ an Internet text- based system that allows you to converse online with short messages in (essentially) real time
~ through IM you can also play game, share files, listen to music, send messages to cell phone and also make call

- Chat groups
~ have proliferated accross the Internet
~ these groups enable you to converse in real time

Chapter 1 Universal of Interpersonal Communication

2009-01-15T05:33:00.000-08:00

The Aviator

The life of Howard Hunghes, one of the most interesting and eccentric people of all time and his relationships with very different people are the subjects of the film The Aviator. In many ways The Aviator covers just about all the topics discussed in this text- the importance of the self, verbal and nonverbal messages, interpersonal relationship and perhaps especially conflict and power.

2009-01-15T01:40:00.000-08:00

Part 1 Interpersonal Communication Preliminaries

Chapter 1 Universals of Interpersonal Communication
The Nature of Interpersonal Communication
*Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication
- Dyadic Primacy
- Dyadic Coalitions
- Dyadic Consciousness
* Forms of Interpersonal Communication
* Purposes of Interpersonal Communication

Elements of Interpersonal Communication
* Source- Receiver
* Encoding- Decoding
* Messages
- Feedback Messages
- Feedforward Messages
* Noise

Chapter 2 Culture in Interpersonal Communication
*Culture and Interpersonal Communication
- The Nature of Culture (Enculturation, Ethnic Identity and Accultration)

*How Cultures Differ
- High Power Distance Culture
- Low Power Distance Culture
- Masculine Culture
- Feminine Cultur
- Individual Culture
- Collective Culture
- High Context Culture
- Low Context Culture

Chapter 3 The Self in Interpersonal Communication
*Dimensions of The Self
- Self- Concept - Self- Awareness - Self- Esteem

*Self- Destructure

*Self- Disclosure

- Advantages of Self- Disclosure

- Disadvantages of Self- Disclosure

* Communication Apprehension

- The Nature of Communication Apprehension

Chapter 4 Perception in Interpersonal Communication
* Stages of Perception

- Selection

- Organization

- Interpretation

- Negotiation

- Stimulation

* Perceptual Processes

- Self- Fulfilling Prophecy

- Implicit Personality Theory

- Perceptual Accentuation

- Primacy- Recency

- Consistency

- Attribution

Part 2 Messages: Nonverbal Messages

Chapter 5 Universals of Nonverbal Messages

The Interaction of Verbal and Nonverbal Messages

* Nonverbal Communication and Culture

- Significance of Color in Culture

- Significance of Touch in Culture

- "Facial Expression"

- "Time" (Social Clock)

- "Silence"

Part 3 Interpersonal Relationships

Chapter 6 Universals of Interpersonal Relationship

* Characteristics of Interpersonal Relationship
- Psychological Data
- Explanatory Knowledge
- Personally Established Rules

* Stages in Interpersonal Relationships
- Contact
- Involvement
- Intimacy
- Deterioration
- Repair
- Dissolution

Growth of Interpesonal Relationship
* Relationship Maintenance
- Reasons for maintaining Relationships
- Rules for maintaining Relationships

Chapter 7 Interpersonal Relationships: Love

* Love

- Love Types

Chapter 8 Conflict in Interpersonal Relationship

* Principles of Interpersonal Conflict

- Online Conflict

- Relationship Conflict: Healthy and Unhealthy

* Conflict Styles

* Conflict Manegement

Chapter 9 Power in Interpersonal Relationships

* Types of Power

- Referent Power

- Legitimate Power

- Expert Power

- Information or Persuasion Power

- Rewards and Coercive Powers

* Communicating Power